2. Find out what growing up really means

So,  I said I was going to write at least 27 blog posts about life at 27 by the time I turned 28.  Maybe I'll shoot for 30 posts by my 30th birthday?

Here's the truth. 27 has been a tough year for me. I've been processing a lot and wrestling a lot (in my mind, not as an athletic pursuit-- just in case that wasn't clear). There have been a lot of thoughts spinning around in my brain. Big thoughts. Thoughts about love and God and work and life. Too many thoughts to sift through and write down.

My early 20's were full of hope, excitement, prospect. I had dreams. I had plans. I was willing to move across the country with no clue what was ahead of me. I wanted to travel, see the world, make it a better place.

Then, somewhere along the way, I ran out of steam. Somewhere between the west coast and the east coast, my spirit changed. I started seeing heartbreak in the world rather than joy. My hopes withered. My worries grew. I started paying for health insurance, car insurance, cell phone bills. I didn't have money left to see all the places I wanted to. Anxiety set in.

I began to face the harsh reality that choosing a career in a field I thought I was passionate about might mean making so many sacrifices and fighting so many uphill battles that I may actually lose my passion for the work I thought I was made to do.

I started to deal with the fact that loving someone isn't always easy, communication is harder for me than I thought it was (I'm a good talker, not such a great listener, it turns out) and that my expectations when it comes to relationships (both romantic and platonic) might be a little one-sided.

I used to think that growing up meant checking off a checklist: Land awesome job. Get married. Buy  house. Have kids. Buy another house.  I know lots of people my age and younger who have checked almost all of those boxes by now. In Richmond more so than in the other cities I've lived (sometimes it feels like people here turn 30 at 24). Does that mean they're more grown up than me?

It's easy for me to believe that lie. (Facebook makes it easier). Because I haven't crossed any of those major things off of my list, I must somehow be less of an adult than those that have.

But here's the truth. Growing up is a process. And real maturity isn't actually about marital status, financial stability or home-ownership (though sometimes we learn lessons in those areas, too). It's about recognizing the places that you're weak and asking God to help you grow in those areas. It's about falling down and getting back up again. It's about hanging on to your faith and trusting that God has a plan even when life doesn't turn out the way you thought it would.

It's been five years since I graduated from college and externally it may not look like much has changed. I'm still living paycheck to paycheck. Still wondering if I should go to grad school. Still asking if I'll ever feel emotionally ready to get married or be a mom. But I am not the same person I was at 22. I have grown up. And I am growing still.

1. Direct a Play

Ladies and gentlemen, I am officially a professional theatre director.

Of course, I've directed things before. Scenes and showcases and readings. One acts and 10-minute plays-- usually starring kids and teens or written by kids and teens. But this was my first experience directing a full-length, two-act, grown-up play. And I have never been prouder of an artistic accomplishment in my life.

The weeks and months I spent planning, rehearsing, eating, sleeping, and living Riding The Bull with my friends and collaborators at TheatreLAB were some of the most challenging, fun, exciting, and overwhelming times of my life. And the end result ended up being sorta brilliant, if I do say so myself.

Now,  that could come off as arrogant. And I suppose it would be if it were only my work I was talking about. But I was just one piece of the puzzle. Yes, I chose the script and made decisions regarding casting and design and did all the other director-y things that a director does, and I'm certainly proud of my decisions and thoughts and how they ultimately showed up in the final product. But the wonderful thing about this particular theatrical endeavor was how every single person involved put so much of themselves into telling the story with me. From the production manager who pulled branches out of her back yard and basically packed an entire tree on top of her SUV and brought it to the theatre when one of our set elements disappeared in the second week of performance, to the managing director who baked pies to sell at intermission, to the lead actor who basically furnished the set with items from her parents' farm-- the blood, sweat, tears and family heirlooms of our entire cast and crew went into this show. I'm proud of the work we all did and ecstatic that the final product made that hard work pay off.

Truth be told, I am a little nervous that my next foray into directing will only shy in comparison to this one. I could go on for pages about every step of the process and how fantastic it all felt. And I know from so many of my past experiences with theatre, that though this sort of kismet experience is what we always strive for, in practice, it's a rarity. I especially know that I can't expect every future endeavor to feel as rewarding as this one, but I'll be damned if I don't shoot for the stars with the next one.

And when I get frustrated (because I will get frustrated, even this near-perfect process was far from frustration free), I'll close my eyes, take a deep breath, and go back to Godsburg, Texas, where, in the dirt and dust of a rodeo and a cattle ranch, I first set down my roots as a director.

27. Unscripted.

Remember that time I started a whole new blog and told my faithful readers (of my one blog post) to check back soon for a list of 27 things I hoped to do at 27 but then got so swamped with life at 27 that I just gave up on the list all together for a while.

Well, that's pretty much what 27 has been like so far.

The three months and six days that have passed since January 31 have been a whirlwind and I've hardly had time to think about what I've been doing as I've done it, much less come up with a set of goals for the months ahead. So, instead of racking my brain to create a single long list of things I hope 27 will bring, I'm returning to the idea of an annual bucket list from a revised perspective. This year (what's left of it), I'll attempt to record my accomplishments and big life experiences as they happen. That WAS the idea behind my new blog title, after all.

I'm aiming for 27 blog posts between now and January 31, 2014. Each detailing a new life experience I am having in my 27th year. That's three posts a month. Seems feasible. And structured enough to motivate me to do something cool with my life (or maybe to recognize the things in my life that are cool as is). It's worth a shot, right??

26 / 27

It's been exactly a year since my last blog post. There are lots of reasons for this. Reasons I don't really want to go into right now. Especially since today is my birthday, and I'd rather think about birthday things today.

Like the new tradition I started last year and will now continue on this new blog that's not connected to an old e-mail address or a past life. (I'm not going west anymore, am I?)

Last year on my birthday, I posted two lists: the 25 things I was proud I'd done at 25 and the 26 things I hoped I'd do at 26. Looking back on that second list today, I realize that there were some items there that I crossed off, no problems, some that I didn't even come close to doing (write a play about Flannery O' Connor-- riiight.), and some that I sort of did, but not at all the way I had planned on doing them.

An uncompleted to-do list like that might bother some people, some people might feel like they'd failed on their hopes and dreams for the year. Heck, a year ago, I probably was "some people." But right now, looking back on 26, I can't really think of any regrets. The simple truth is this: sometimes (most of the time) life doesn't even come close to going the way you planned it. Sometimes your hopes and dreams change. But that doesn't mean you should stop having them. So I've got a whole new list for 27.

But before I get to that....

26 Things I'm Glad I Did at 26.

1. I made wonderful new friends in Richmond who encourage, challenge, and inspire me both artistically and spiritually.
2. I reconnected and rebuilt even better relationships with old friends I'd lost touch with in my years on the west coast.
3. I got to know my parents on a whole new level. I know moving back in with your parents at 26 must sound like a nightmare. And trust me, a year is about all I could handle. But I'm not ashamed to admit it: I totally loved that year. Drinking wine every night with my dad and watching Downton Abbey and way too many episodes of House Hunters with my mom, I started to see my parents as more than the people that raised me. They've become my dearest friends.
4. I actually called someone my boyfriend. This may be hard to believe (if it's not, at least pretend like it is), but before this year, I'd never actually dated someone long enough or officially enough to consider myself "in a relationship." It was a big step for me, and while things didn't end up working out, I grew a lot through the process and am grateful for the experience
5. I dove into Richmond's theatre community head first and found myself constantly creating and collaborating with wonderful and inspiring artists!
6. I acted in three productions: The Stinky Cheese Man, Steel Magnolias, and Life of Hannah, the most shows I've done in one year since high school.
7. I costume designed Life of Hannah for TheatreLAB-- the first show I'd designed since college!
8. I actually sang a song out loud in an audition. Doesn't sound like much, but if you knew how scarring it was to get mocked by dumb MT's in college because I tried out for my first (and last) musical at JMU with "On my Own" you'd know that this was an acomplishment!
9. I worked on a fantastic public speaking theatre residency with seventh grade students at Powhatan Junior High School and Albert Hill Middle School.
10. I taught my first Shakespeare class (and a few Shakespeare workshops).
11. I helped get "Riding the Bull" by August Schulenberg into the Acts of Faith Festival for TheatreLAB, and now I'm directing it!!
12. I went to a square dance in Richmond. On my "things to do at 26" list, I wrote that I wanted to "Get Richmond hipsters into square dancing." Though I do believe it is slowly but surely catching on (what up, square dance at Hardywood on Feb 16!), I can't really claim to have made it happen. Nonetheless, I'm glad RVA is recognizing the greatness of a good square.
13. I attended Bringing Theatre Into The Classroom at Seattle Repertory Theatre and strengthened my teaching artist practice.
14. I went camping on the Olympic Peninsula and explored Olympic National Park.
15. I returned to teach two summer camps at Seattle Children's Theatre. And managed to make my interns wear an oversized clip-on mustache in both camps!!
16. I spent almost a whole month in Seattle and got to spend quality time with my west coast "family."
17. I made it back to JMU for homecoming for the first time since 2009. Go Dukes!
18. I took the GRE and thought a little more about grad school. Maybe next year I'll visit a few ;)
19. I started a big girl job. With a salary, and healthcare, and paid time off.  And not just any big girl job either, but one I somehow managed to talk a theatre company into creating for me. One that fits my skills and passions. One I get pretty geeky-excited about sometimes.
20. I started a story drama program for Virginia Rep and led story drama workshops on Madeline's Christmas at nine Richmond Public Library branches.
21. I started writing my first grant funding request. Letter of Inquiry = Approved! Full proposal is up next!
22. I moved to a cute apartment in the Fan. Ah. Independence. And life outside of suburbia. It's really something.
23. I found a bible study & a group of Christians that I really sort of enjoy being around. I'm not done with the church search yet, but on my quest to find a great faith community, this is a good start.
24. I put an RVA sticker on my car. Guess that means I'm officially a Richmonder now.
25. I made my first trip to NYC in 5 years! Long overdue!
26. I learned that contentment and complacency are not synonyms and began to figure out how to be happy with who I am in the present.

I'll get to my list for 27 tomorrow. Because right now, I've got to live in the present and head to my birthday dinner!